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Confessions of an Invincible Fit Mom: August 7, 2013
Failure. What is it really? I looked up on Merriam Webster
dictionary and found a few different definitions, none of which really hit home
for me. The first one being the omission
of occurrence or performance; specifically : a failing to perform a duty or
expected action.
Let me start by saying I am VERY hard on myself. I hold myself to the highest of standards on
some certain things. I’m terrified of
failure and absolutely refuse to fail.
The thing is, I think I have a very realistic definition of failure for
myself. I don’t think I fail if I don’t
get 1st place at a competition, however I DID fail if I didn’t put
my all into my prep and I didn’t allow myself to compete at 100%. Now to me, that is failure. I’m not a failure because I’m not rich with
money, because I am a huge success being rich with love and family and passion
in my life! I guess it's kind of a matter of perspective for me.
Being a mom has changed everything in my way of
thinking. I think my standards for
myself are even higher than they were before because I feel like there’s a
magnifying glass that people are looking at me through just waiting on me to
give up and slip up. It’s made the start
of this off season a little stressful for me.
Up until a couple of days ago I was feeling like a failure. I was eating foods not on my off season
nutrition guide. I was eating out and
eating junk food and candy. Not all day
every day, but enough to where I didn’t go even 3 days without having something
I shouldn’t. Then it hit me. I do this every off season. Why beat myself up about it now?? If I’m having 5-6 meals a day and all but one
is on point, why not relax a little bit and be a rebel. Sure! I know if I did 100% clean I would have
minimal body fat gain and maximal muscle growth, but then there’s the mental
and emotional aspect of things. Just
knowing that if I want something, I can eat it and not feel guilty is a
satisfaction you get. Yes, it is yet
again a coin toss because you also get satisfaction in knowing your disciplined
enough to stay on track 100% and can turn down anything and everything in front
of you. I’ve definitely done that one time and time again. For now though, I choose to take an
alternative route. It doesn’t have to be
totally black or white sometimes. Yes, I
am totally rationalizing my “failures” right now because a couple of days ago I
accepted them!! I’ve totally let loose and have been having even better
workouts and getting more pumped about training not stressing myself out about
being perfect. While, as a pro, and
being known as the gym rat, bodybuilder, fitness girl, etc.. I’m held to these
standards of people thinking it’s easy for me and all I do is work out and fix
health food…but I’m actually a very normal person who just strives to achieve
great things! Here’s to enjoying life in
the process!!
And by the way- the only way to be a failure.. is to just
flat out quit! And I’m no quitter! =)
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